Rise and Shine Girl Blog

My next post was planned to be a continuation of the previous (my adventures in Wesley Woods).  I feel pressed to write instead about something else, but plan to get back to my story.

For the last week or so I have been watching a dear friend slide into the depths of depression.  I’m tasting what it’s like to be on the other side.  From the outside I see what a great path he has been on: creating and starting a new career, resolving a relationship, connecting with his kiddos in better ways,  taking care of his health, etc.  But as I know none of this matters when the brain chemistry changes and takes over.  So what do I do?

I know from my own experiences what has been helpful and how I handle the challenges of the funk, but I can’t assume it’s the same for him as each of us who faces this battle has our unique manifestation and ways of coping.  So rather than assume and come from my perspective and experiences I flip it back to him.  My new daily question via text is “What would be helpful for you today?”

Some days I don’t receive a response and others I might read, “Thanks for checking in.  I’m just really tired and need to be by myself.”  Other days it may be “I could use some company to help get me out of my mind.” 

To sit next to someone you know and see their personality completely transform is such a heartbreaking and odd thing to witness. His face is starting to dramatically look different to me.  I have witnessed this when I have looked in the mirror in the throes of it, but to look at someone else is something difficult to put into words.

As I type this I have even more compassion for the ones who witness those they love sink and live in the hole.  I now see how difficult it is. My stomach bubbles with worry, my eyes get wet with tears, and my mind has a myriad of thoughts and emotions.

To you, those who stand beside mental illness, I would give each of you a hug as I know you need it.  I would say, “You are appreciated even if the words don’t come across to you.”  Like many things in life this isn’t a sprint it is a marathon.  And, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!  Don’t give up the things that are helpful to you.  Take deep breaths, go out in nature, listen to music, talk to a compassionate person, remember the saying, “This to shall pass.”  There is no specific plan for the “caretakers”.  One must do what works for them.

A squeeze, a hug and kiss on the cheek to those who are the witnesses.

May we all Rise & Shine!