Please identify yourself.
You may have heard this before if you have tried to enter a secure building, if it was questionable whether you were allowed to be in a certain area, if you have had a run in with the law and possibly if you have tried to reclaim something of yours that was lost and is now found. Now you meet someone, let’s say at a party, and they ask you to identify yourself. What would you say? Would you start with your professional life, or how about the hobbies you enjoy? There are always your affiliations with various groups, where you are from, political and religious beliefs, family life, your life passions, etc. I think you get the point.
I would bet money that anyone reading this blog has had a moment of identity crisis. It may have been during the teen years, while in college, or anywhere along the path as we age. Some people are strongly identified by their careers and when there is a change in that world a crisis may occur. For some, entering the emptynest stage in life can be a challenge. We all face it at one time or another with a variety of levels of intensity. The beauty of being human is having the ability to adapt and change, not only that, but to also recognize and reflect upon our adaptability and choices.
I started Rise and Shine Girl groups for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I want girls to recognize who they truly are. You ask what does that mean? Well, what is in their heart? What makes them excited when they start their day? What are they doing when they have a smile on their face and are in a groove? When do they shine?
Molly Barker, the creator of Girls on the Run, coined the term “the girl box”. She describes how girls in elementary school generally have a good sense of who they are and what they like. Let’s give a girl a name, hmmm, Kate. Kate is nine years old and likes to play with her dolls, gets together with friends occasionally after school, plays in the local recreational soccer league and likes to spend time with her family. Fast forward a couple years and Kate is now in middle school surrounded by new classmates. She also has more options when it comes to activities to get involved in through school. Will Kate pick the activities that truly sound interesting to her and put a smile on her face, or will she pick the activities that she is told or senses are “cool”? Molly Barker would say that if Kate follows the crowd she would be jumping into “the girl box”.
The girl box is a place where girls follow what society, school, friends and even parents tell them what they should do, how they should act, how they should look and even how they should feel (need I say that adult women often find themselves in the girl box as well?). Girls who jump into the box give up what feels right and true to themselves in order to feel accepted. If girls stay in the box for too long we may see development of depression, drug/alcohol use, body image issues, eating disorders, cutting, promiscuity and the list goes on. I think it is inevitable to find one’s self in the box at some point in life, but the question is, “Can you get out of the box?”
Yes! Yes you can! Think of what perks up your day and makes you shine. When I say shine, I mean when you walk in a room people notice you. Not because you are wearing the latest fashion, or sporting some bling, or because you have the perfect shaped figure we all see in the magazines. You are noticed because you are comfortable in your skin and you are being true to yourself.
Well, now we are back to the subject of identity crisis. How do you walk into a room and shine if you don’t know who you are, what you stand for, what you like, who and what you will fight for, and bottom line what you want to give to the world? I think the answer is easy. Be true to yourself, mind, body and soul. The process may require work, sweat, tears, joy, disappointment, frustration, elation, confusion and every other descriptive word you can think of, but it is all worth it! This is your life!
Rise and Shine!
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