Rise and Shine Girl Blog

Who would have thought a trip to the store to get cough drops would give me the opportunity to fill my love bucket and right some wrongs in my life!

Mia has been battling with seasonal allergies here in the ATL as the green snow mounts up around town. This is not an over exaggeration! The weather has been beautiful, but all the living oxygen giving members of our society are busy getting all prettied up for a new blooming season, so the thought of having open windows during this time is one that goes right out the window.

Mia has been waking up feeling like crap and frankly looking like it too, although this mom would NEVER say that to her. Well maybe this mom did once as a motivational tactic to get her out of bed and gussy up otherwise the mom taxi would be taking her looking like child who met tornado with markers in a mud pit. Yes, she did look that bad so the word crap was fitting!

It was a usual day, if there is such a thing, and I sent Mia to school not looking like crap, but she was feeling it. If there is no fever, this child is going as she will milk me! I did ease the shove out of the car by shouting out the window, “I’ll come check on you in a couple of hours.”

Hours later I checked in with her and as usual she wanted to stay at school, but needed cough drops. I tell you, this child will fight her way into trying to stay home, but once she has left the nest she is happy to be soaring on her own. Being the good and compassionate mother I am or was that day, with exception of the “crap” part, I told Mia I’d go get cough drops and bring them by the school.

My local CVS sits in the heart of town where I live. I find it often a local gathering place where I bump into people I know and we take a few minutes to catch-up. When I lived in Texas that place was the local Target. In fact, there was a particular friend who I would run into about twice a year in the aisles of Target and we would drop it all right there and chew the fat. Yes, an hour in the aisle. We once had an employee offer to bring us some chairs. I couldn’t tell if he was serious so we just chuckled and got back to business.
Back to CVS, as I was checking out, a family pushing a stroller with a four year old in tow walked towards the cashier and asked if he knew where a certain food pantry was located. I was so impressed with the cashier. He said he didn’t, but offered to call in the back, I think the pharmacy area, and ask if anyone back there knew where the pantry was located. As he picked up the phone I pulled out mine and walked over towards this family. I asked them the name of the pantry and said I would look it up for them. We stood there for a couple of minutes and then I suggested we all step outside.

Once outside I found the pantry and saw the operating hours were 9am to 11:30am and my clock said 11:48am. I then called them thinking I could help, weaseling my way into getting the pantry to help this family out, but all I heard on the other line was a recording. I broke the news to the family.

The dad explained this is the first time he has been in this situation. Both mom and dad went on to tell me they recently moved to ATL from New Jersey to escape some bad influences and make a better life for their four year old and 4 month old peanut sleeping in the stroller. I asked them if it would be okay for me to give them a little money to allow them to feed themselves and their family seeing as the pantry was closed. Why did I ask? Well, I could see the pride in this dad’s eyes and I wanted to give them the message that I didn’t believe they were fishing for money or a handout, or what I refer to as a hand-up.

I went back into CVS to get some cash out of the ATM and then headed back to the family. They were grateful and we spent a few minutes chewing the fat. Then the cute little four year old asked me if I like to play Transformers. Wow! This guy had no idea! When I told him I saw parts of the movie being filmed in Chicago, I became instant rock star status!

As I talked more with this family and heard their story I explained I wasn’t too familiar with the social services in the area, but offered if their was anything else I could help them with. Then it dawned on me. One of the organziations I’m involved with could be an asset to this family. I gave the dad my business card and took down the information of where they were staying, basically a weekly motel type of place, and told them I would get back to them by the end of the day with some ideas.

After making some phone calls, oh and dropping the cough drops off for Mia, I called the family back. After talking with the dad I found myself booked for the next morning to pick him up and take him out to his job worksite, so he could explain to his foreman why he wasn’t at work. See this guy is on probation and is being told if he doesn’t have a permanent address within the next 24 hours the state of Georgia will send his case back to Jersey, meaning he and his entire family would have to move right back into the situation they were escaping from. Apparently a motel isn’t considered a permanent address. In theory I get it, but in the real world of a person having a criminal record, it’s not like there are people lined up to rent to those on probation.

We had about a 30 minute drive to this guy’s, which I will now call Marlon, worksite. Marlon secured himself a construction job in a large project here in ATL. He is currently being paid $11 an hour with potential for more. He just needs to prove himself to his boss which is hard to do when one is trying to get their basic Maslow Hierarchy of needs met. We made it to the site, Marlon spoke with the foreman and was told he still had his job. Whew! Mission accomplished.

But then I remembered there was another mission and one that wouldn’t pose to be an easy one. Marlon explained he had three meetings with his probation officer and how she didn’t seem to take Marlon seriously. By the end of the day if Marlon didn’t have an address that was acceptable, his paperwork would be in the email inbox of the state of New Jersey. We brainstormed on the way back to Marlon’s motel and decided to have him call his former parole officer in Jersey. She was frustrated to hear how tough and inflexible the parole officer in Georgia was being.

In my years of social work I have never had interactions with parole departments, so I must say this was a bit interesting to me and posed a challenge I was willing to take on. After brainstorming with Marlon and the Jersey probation officer, we decided the next logical step was to get in front of the probation officer here in ATL.

As we pulled up to the building, which ironically I probably pass several times a week, I told Marlon the first stop was going to be the ladies room. He looked at me and stated I might want to reconsider that thought. This man has no idea of the places I’ve been!

We entered the waiting area filled with stereotypical looking parolees as well as people you would assume to be on the up and up. Marlon was a gentleman. He held the doors for me and stood by me as a protector. It is easy to feel protected when you have 6’2” giant next to you. Somehow, magically we got in to see the officer within minutes. I believe one of two things happened. Either some angels were standing along-side of us paving our way, or the words, “I brought my social worker with me”, put this officer on notice.

After watching Marlon get frisked, patted down and basically felt up we were sitting across from the officer. She came across as a bit of a hard-ass, but within in a minute of us being there I think she knew we weren’t leaving until some flexibility hit the table. We went from having under 12 hours left to find permanent housing to a month to get this together. We kept our cool and once we left the office and walked down the stairs I looked at Marlon, our eyes sparkled and I squeezed him!

Next, this girl had to eat , but also use the ladies room! We stopped at Chick Fil A to accomplish both. I bought lunch, headed to the ladies room and upon my return Marlon had the table set for us. We chatted for almost an hour. We were on level with each other. I wasn’t a social worker and he wasn’t a guy in a rough life spot. We were two beating hearts, sharing a meal and our stories.
I learned Marlon’s mom battled with HIV for years and just recently was taken by pancreatic cancer. Marlon was her caretaker in hospice and was with her until the end. His mama was his rock and when she left this earth, Marlon took a turn down a road that led him to his current situation. He became a user and a dealer as he shoved away his emotions. Eventually his house was raided and fortunately for him most of what he had was hidden outside on his property, for if it was found in his home, I’m pretty sure he would be behind bars.

I learned Marlon has lived in several parts of the country and has also spent time in Costa Rica. He fought to get his son out of the child protective system, when the mom of his son abandoned motherhood. I learned Marlon wants to be a civil engineer and already has 2.5 years of studying under his belt. I learned this man has so many dimensions to him. More than what people would take time to think about if seeing him and his family on the street.

But what did I learn the most? I learned that when you put two beating hearts together all differences can melt away. When you look into someone’s eyes and see the light, that is all that is needed. I learned that people can come from all walks of life, but when they share stories of each losing their moms to cancer all the differences wash away. As I type, I realize there are endless learning opportunities from that day.

The one I choose to focus on while moving forward…I will remember that a few hours of my life shared with another can be the tipping point…the life changer for both involved.

Rise & Shine