A year ago today at almost the same time I’m writing this I was sitting in the lobby at The Mirage in Las Vegas talking to my dad on the phone as he described my mom’s, Marsha’s, last moments here on Earth. Twenty-four hours earlier he called and said he was starting morphine as my mom was struggling to breathe. At the moment he called I was sitting on a tour bus waiting to head to Hoover Dam. It’s funny; I have the guy’s head who was sitting in front of me imprinted in my head as well as the distinct smell of the bus. Oh how our senses have the ability to capture a moment.
At the time, several people felt it was a bit odd I had planned a last minute long weekend getaway for my family to Vegas. I have to admit I felt the same way as well. Seeing as it was last minute, it was a breeze to find tickets at decent prices and when isn’t there hotel availability in Vegas? Why did I find it an odd place to book? Typically I like places that are more real, with history and intriguing architecture. Not to mention I like to spend more time outside than inside, whereas Vegas wants you inside pulling money out of your pockets with no intention of putting money back in them!
I couldn’t find a place more opposite than how I like to spend my time. At one point while going up an escalator on the main strip Cole says, “Wow mom! The girls sure dress differently here!” I follow his gaze to discover he is referring to the group of girls 5 stairs in front of us. I think they were mistaken. Tube tops are not meant to me skirts! At that point in time, I suggested Cole pay attention to the architecture, well pseudo-architecture.
Later that evening my entire family was wiped out from the Hoover Dam excursion amongst the other things that filled our day. I’m known to pack full days while on vacation…just call me “Julie” from Love Boat. I have been caught a few times with a clipboard! While they all lounged on the beds, I found my mind wondering as to what could be going on in Pennsylvania with my parents. What was my dad doing? Was my mom in pain? Will I need to hop on a plane from Vegas and head to Philly? I couldn’t take it anymore! I needed a distraction!
I can’t explain why, but I decided to Google, “How to learn the running man dance”. At the time, that was the dance of choice going around my kiddos’ school and Cole had it down to the tee. He had tried to show me, but no luck there. So, as my family was passed out I decided to teach myself along with the help from a YouTube video. I stood in front of the skinny hotel mirror and danced away. Not really, I stomped away, jumped away, skipped away, but no running man away. I got so frustrated the “F word” escaped my mouth! Usually I use “fudge sticks”, but this time I guess my psyche needed an extra edge to it.
It was at that point I saw a little light reflecting in the mirror and had a horrid realization…Charles, my calming Buddha, was videoing me the entire time and not only captured my lack of dance skills, but also captured my linguistic skills. I was thinking everyone was asleep…they fooled me!
It’s funny how a year ago I was doing anything to not focus on what was unfolding in my life. Hence, I think that is why I may have picked Vegas for our destination. You can’t find a place more fake and surreal. Vegas offered a good escape at the time! Even as I sat in the lobby and heard the news from my dad, there was a part of me that felt what I was hearing wasn’t real.
Interestingly enough, last night and this morning are direct opposites of what I was doing last year. I have spent the last 24 hours thinking a lot about my mom Marsha. I’ve looked at videos and pictures, talked about her with my kids and Buddha, and this morning I went and explored nature in Texas during a snowfall. Timing is everything…
There is a lot more I feel I need to get out and share. Someday my hope is that this blog will be useful to my kiddos or frankly to anyone. There is so much we can learn from each other, but oftentimes we are too busy running around to realize there are people and experiences in our midst we can learn from. I regret not going to my mom Marsha when it could have benefited us both. We don’t always have to run to the internet to find the answers, or to make us feel better. My running man experience proves it! The answer there is that I obviously am not wired to do the running man!
Enjoy a moment today!
RISE AND SHINE!
Rise and Shine Girl Blog 