PENN STATE

20 Nov 2011 1 Comment

by riseandshinegirl in Uncategorized

I’m back!  Well, it has been over a year since my last blog and life has happened, good life and not-so-good life. I have mentioned in the past this would not be a blog where I write posts to fill space.  This blog wouldn’t be fluff, nor would it be a blog where I try to seem funny, smart, etc.  This blog is to put thoughts out there and life happenings without worrying too much about grammar and spelling.  Neither of those are my strong suits and if I spent time focusing on the mechanics I would never put anything on this screen.

I write this morning because I have had enough!!!!  PENN STATE

I have had two experiences in the last few days where I have heard people mention they were tired of hearing about Penn State, Joe and Sandusky.  One person even said, “I just had to turn the TV off…enough of the Penn State scandal”.  Uh hum…scandal is not the word that goes in that statement, tragedy!  Furthermore, I’m so sorry hearing the harsh reality of what has happened at Penn State tires you, but calling the happenings a scandal and turning off the TV because YOU don’t want to hear about it anymore does what?  Now, I understand if you can’t hear it anymore because it may bring up your own personal past with abuse, but if it is purely because your tired of the information, don’t believe it happened, or want to live in your beautiful bubble with blurry rose-colored glasses, well SHAME ON YOU!

Now, if you are reading this and completely have no idea what I mean when I say, “PENN STATE” then you need to google it and you will find all of the necessary details.  I will not take the time to repeat the information here, google it and you will find all the information you need to get you up to speed.

Back to the “SHAME ON YOU!”  If you have followed the recent events at Penn State, shake your head, feel emotions (there is a whole bucketful), and then go about your business, then I say, “Is there something you can do to help?”  You say, “Help, what can I do to help..I have nothing to do with Penn State…I donate money to good causes…I pray for those people and all abused people/children…My plate is so full right now…What can I do?”

You know Penn State should not be a shock.  Do you remember the sexual abuse that occurred in the Catholic Church?  Do you remember hearing the variety of news stories over the years?  Did you see or hear how Oprah Winfrey had a show on men who were sexually abused as children?  Have you read some famous celebrities’ autobiographies?  If you are a local to where I live, do you remember the soccer coach?  What have you done after hearing about each incident of child physical/sexual abuse?  I venture to say…not much.  I’m sure you may have talked about it with friends, discussed how shocking the news was, felt bad for the abused, disgust for the abuser, hugged your children, maybe for a few days you were extra vigilant about your children’s safety, and the list goes on.

I know we live in a time when news stories flash before us, come and go, all while we are trying to stay afloat in our busy lives.  I’m telling you there’s so much you can do!

What upsets me the most about Penn State?  Boys and young men came forward, said they were sexually abused by Sandusky and the ball was dropped!  No, the football wasn’t dropped.  The hope and faith the boys had was dropped and crushed.  Do you have any idea the courage these young men have?  Yes, Joe took a stand and told administration what he knew, but once it was apparent Sandusky was still coaching Joe did nothing.  If you know abuse is happening and you don’t follow through until the abused are safe, then you are part of the abuse!  You are allowing the abuse to continue.  Don’t be a Joe…SAY NO!

My upcoming blogs will focus on ways you can help prevent abuse as well as help assist the abused.  Child sexual abuse is always a part of my daily plate.  I don’t like to say this, but I believe child sexual abuse will never go away. So, if it is here to stay we need to create an arsenal of weapons and tools to help fight it and protect the abused.  The first tool…Listen when they are talking to you!

I’m closing this blog with a paste-in of an email I composed the day the Penn State Sexual Abuse became public, ironic seeing as I didn’t have the TV on that day.  If you are moved the slightest by what is posted below, I urge you to do something…It can be local to you or you can join me.  Also, please feel free to pass this blog on to others.  Sharing information with others is another tool.  RISE AND SHINE!

Dear friends, neighbors, and colleagues,

 I ask that you please take a few minutes to read what I’m about to write.  Don’t read this while you’re driving, multi-tasking, sitting in a meeting or cooking dinner.  I need your full attention.
When I was a child it was a big deal going to Kmart with my grandparents.  I’m sure it was a similar feeling to how most kids feel today when taking a trip to Target or Walmart.  What made the trips to Kmart, outside of pleading with my grandparents to take my sister and me to the toy section, fun and full of adventure was the “Blue Light Special”.  One could always count on a special sale occurring in the store where the blue light was flashing to get attention.  My grandmother made this a memorable experience by having it be a mission during every trip to find the blue light.  Needless to say I have fond memories of those moments.
Today I see a different blue light.  Over the past eight years, the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County has been a part of my life.  Whether I have spent time in the center, talked up their services and mission in the community, or suggested their services to someone in need, the center has always remained to be a big part of my life as well as my family’s.  If you are not familiar with the Children’s Advocacy Center of Denton County may I suggest you take a visit to their website to understand fully what they provide to our community, www.cacdc.org.  Generally speaking the center provides a variety of services for children who have been abused as well as support for non-offending family members. The center provides child abuse prevention services as well.  Honestly, the previous two sentences don’t give justice to what the center does, so I urge you to take the time to look at their website.
 Now back to that blue light.  When a child is interviewed at the center a blue light flashes in the hall to make people aware that a taped interview is occurring.  Children are interviewed by a trained social worker or other helping professional, while behind a one way mirror sits a variety of people who need to hear what the child says in order to protect and serve them.  These taped interviews allow the child to tell their story once.  The tape can then be used to present a case towards a perpetrator. These types of cases can lead to a courtroom experience and no child wants to take the witness stand, so they don’t if a taped interview is available.
 Lately I have seen the blue light flashing almost every time I’ve walked into the center.  In fact, someone told me there has been an interview every day for the past several weeks.  I must admit the blue light began to take on a negative connotation for me, it didn’t feel anything close to the feeling I got standing in a Kmart when I was a kid.  As a write this today, I have positive feelings when I see that blue light on in the center.  Shocking?  Let me explain…

Years ago I worked in Chicago for their  child protective services system in some of the roughest and scariest neighborhoods.  Most families didn’t want to have anything to do with me.  The kiddos I encountered looked at me knowing in their mind that I would be a temporary person in their life like all of the other social workers.  Eventually I gained the trust of some, I told the kids that my number one job was to keep them safe.  I delivered the same message every time whether it was a moment trying to convince them to wear a seat belt, not smoke, stop being promiscuous and the list goes on.  There is one story that sticks with me to this day, and probably is the main motivating factor for my involvement with CACDC.  I came into this girl’s life, or I should say she came into my life after being in the system for years and in several foster homes.  She was finally at a point where we had a family who was willing to adopt her, but we still needed to have her parents’ parental rights terminated.  In order to do this, she needed to come to court and speak to the judge.  This was necessary to add validity to the case and to confirm some of the documented history that was written in her record.  As we drove to the court house I noticed this girl’s body language had changed and she was very tense.  Once arriving to the court parking lot she said, “You know you told me your job was to keep me safe.  I believed you!  Today you are not doing your job. I don’t feel safe.  I don’t want to go sit in a courtroom, talk to the judge about what happened to me, and I sure as hell don’t want to see my so-called parents.  So write this in your notes…today social worker didn’t keep me safe.”  I knew then and I know now that it was the system that failed her.  The original workers who started out with this child on the beginnings of her CPS journey didn’t have her interviewed.  I don’t know if it was a lack of availability or lack of will, but yes, the system failed her and at that moment she had to enter an arena where she didn’t feel safe.

I now have a positive feeling when I see that blue light on in the center.  The child who is sitting on the other side of the door will tell their story and not be found sitting in a courtroom having to re-tell their story over and over.  The blue light represents keeping a child safe!

 I share this story with you because I know you are the type of person who chooses to make a difference.  I have accepted a chair position with the CACDC Benefit Gala: Champions for Children 2012 held February 18th.  This is the 3rd year for the event.  Last year the event profited $121,800 for the center and this year’s goal is to profit $150,000.  I realize I have left out one very important piece…the center doesn’t charge a single cent for the services they provide.  I have included some supporting documents for this event that can fill you in on some of the questions you may have.
Please read below if you are now questioning how you can help.  I think you are bound to find something you can do.  The following are thoughts that come to mind, but know there are so many more…
 1. Become a sponsor
2. Buy tickets and attend the Gala
3. Donate items and experiences for the live and silent auction
4. If you know a chef who would like to be part of the night, have exposure to over 600 people, and advertisement, tell them about this event.
5. If you have connections with professional sports figures ask if they would like to join the Gala list of celebrities
6. If you are in a bible study, bunco group, poker group, etc., see if you can pull your resources together and donate money, time, items or an experience.  Better yet, for your February gathering attend the Gala instead.
7. If you have some great connections who you think would make great sponsors please forward this to them, share my phone number or have them contact Dan Leal (the executive director of the center).
8. If you work with teenagers see if there is something they think they could do to make a difference.
9. Hmm, if you happen to be the coach of a local high school sports team maybe there is a great experience you can put together to auction off.
10. SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!   Not just about the Gala…Tell families and children there is help!
This is just a small list.  If you have stayed with me to the end of this email I thank you and will simply close in saying, “We all wake up everyday wanting to make it the best one possible.  I can guarantee you any attention you give to this event and/or the center not only makes it a great day for you, but for so many others”

Please feel free to email me with questions. I have also copied Dan Leal, the executive director of the center, on this email.  I know he would welcome emails as well.

Warmly,

 Marnie Grodzin, LCSW

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. riseandshinegirl's avatar riseandshinegirl
    Dec 31, 2012 @ 10:23:16

    Reblogged this on Rise and Shine Girl Blog and commented:

    Read, “Silent No More:Victim 1’s Fight for Justice Against Jerry Sandusky.

    Reply

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