Rise and Shine Girl Blog

I have so many other things I should be doing right now, but I’m home alone, cleaning George’s cage (our family guinea pig) trying to think about anything else outside of scooping poop, fur and pee saturated bedding out of the cage.  Who’s idea was it to get this little guy anyway?  That’s another story for another time.

While I’m here alone I’m thinking back to a few hours ago when I drove Cole by the skateboard shop.  Yesterday, Cole and I went to get a new, real skateboard, meaning Cole picked out all of the different components, please don’t ask me to name them.  Cole spent about an hour yesterday and built his own skateboard and was thrilled.  We are heading out-of-town, the board is going of course, and Cole wanted to go back to the shop to get feedback on his building of the board.  As we pull up to the shop I ask Cole if he wants me to park and go in, or is he going to run in himself.  First off, he asks me to park and a minute later he tells me he wants to go in by himself.  What went through his mind during that minute?  Go back about six months ago and this would not have happened.  I would have walked in with Cole and he would have insisted I do all of the talking, although in this shop I would have no earthly idea what I would be talking about.  What caused the change you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you my hypothesis.

I think it was about three months ago Cole got his first gear bike.  He went out with his dad, did a little research and we went to pick up the bike the next day.  I say to Cole, “So, are you going to ride your bike to school tomorrow?”  The reply, “Yes, of course” (like duh mom-he knows much better than to say that).  Fast forward, 6:30 the next morning Cole jumps in my bed with a bit of a panic going on and says, “Mom, you have to get up.  We are riding our bikes to school today.”  My response, “WE?”

This leads to a conversation back and forth where Cole thought I was riding with him and I’m telling him he can go on his own.  “Well, what if I fall and break my arm and you’re not there?” (Hmmm…now my mind switches to the anxious mother track, but I quickly switch gears)  I say, “Well, if that is how you feel than I shouldn’t let you ride around the block.  What if something happens to you on the other side of the block?”  I can tell I have him thinking.  Okay, at this point you may think that I sound like a harsh mom.  There are no doubts I have my moments, but this moment was about giving Cole a little freedom and letting him go away from the roost on his own.

Cole in a grumpy fashion decides he isn’t riding his bike if I’m not going. Okay.  I know how this kid operates.  About 20 minutes later, Cole asks if he still has time to ride his bike.  I look at the clock and realize he is cutting it close, but say, “Sure”.  Minutes later, helmet on, backpack on and he is out the door.  This was the routine for the remainder of the school year.

My hypothesis is that this freedom gave Cole confidence in himself .  He is more independent now and takes more responsiblity for his actions.  Was it hard for me to let him go that first day? Yes.  Was it hard the days following? Yes.  It is so easy to let our parental anxieties take hold and as a result our kids miss so many learning opportunities.  I look at Cole and see how much he has grown in the last six months: physically, mentally and emotionally.  There are parts of his life he no longer includes me in and at times I miss being involved.  Before I let myself go down that weepy reminiscent road, I remind myself it is my job, as well as my husband’s, to raise a strong, capable, responsible and independent man.  How can we accomplish that without taking some risks, having faith and putting aside our own desires to feel needed?  We can’t!

Rise and Shine!